


A Lifetime (And Another) With You

by space_in_between



Category: Nine Percent, 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: 4+1, M/M, i'm sorry in advance, idk what is this honestly, multiple AUs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 17:34:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14337579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_in_between/pseuds/space_in_between
Summary: In four universes where Huang Minghao’s love for Fan Chengcheng is unrequited, and in one it isn’t. Minghao remembers all of them.





	A Lifetime (And Another) With You

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to write down sentimental/deep relationship quote shits but the things i saw on google seemed more intriguing, so yeah lol creativity 0-1 tami feat. google
> 
> Russian translation can be found [here!](https://t.co/WOuLZtTdvC)

 

**_One_ **

_The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned_ _  
_ _William Somerset Maugham_

Minghao remembers Fan Chengcheng as someone from his dream when he sees him as his high school senior, two years above. The encounter feels unreal because Minghao thinks it’s unlikely to be able to breathe the same air with someone he only knows from another dimension, probably, Minghao isn’t quite sure. But he’s sure enough he knows Chengcheng, though.

He’s sure he’s been in love with Fan Chengcheng his whole life, he just doesn’t know _why_ and _how_. He just does.

(He doesn’t want to care whether it’s only a dream or something more. Something real.)

_“Do you need help? Wait, what’s your name again- uh, is it Huang Minghao? Am I right?”_

_“Ah, yes, you’re right.”_

_“Great! I’m Fan Chengcheng. This is my last year in high school so I’ll try to be as helpful as possible for my cute juniors, hehe. I don’t take notes in class though, but I can help you to get one from my friends! I promise!”_

Chengcheng in this lifetime is a funny, kind and attentive upperclassman for a clumsy Minghao. He helps Minghao finds his classroom on his first day, helps him joining the sport club Minghao wants to but can’t go by himself because the club seniors are scary looking (Chengcheng finds that amusing and never lets go of the joke for the rest of the semester), accompanying him go to and from school everyday after he finds out they live only two blocks away, and so many, _many_ things he does for Minghao.

Minghao loves Chengcheng even more everyday, but he knows Chengcheng never looks at him that way. Minghao is okay with that.

_“You’re my best brother, Minghao. The best brother I could ever ask for. We have to stay brothers for life, okay?”_

_“Sure, gege, sure.”_

_“Come to my house next week, we’re having family dinner and my girlfriend is coming too. I’m going to officially introduce you to her as my baby brother!”_

Minghao is okay with that. One lifetime isn’t going to be that long, anyway.

 

 

 

 

**_Two_ **

_Problems can be fixed. But unrequited love is a tragedy_ _  
_ _Suzanne Harper_

“What do you want to do once the war is over, or when we can finally go home?”

The question Minghao gives Chengcheng is simple, and it should’ve been easy to answer. They are in the middle of a warfield, explosion and gunshot happen only five feets away from their barrack every ten seconds or so. There are a lot of things they must be _dying_ to do, but Minghao just wants to know.

Chengcheng adjusts his army hat on his head while he’s thinking. “I think I’m going to take you for a walk,” he says, laughing. “Remember we promised to go fishing and grilling fish when we were training? I think I want to do that the most.”

Minghao feels his face burning. “Just tell me if you want to go on a date with me, idiot.”

Chengcheng laughs, taking Minghao’s hand in his and lacing their fingers together. “I don’t know, I thought soldiers didn’t date each other.”

Minghao whines and kicks Chengcheng’s shin, embarrassed. “You’re so dead to me, Fan Chengcheng.”

Chengcheng laughs again, and he gazes at Minghao softly after his laughter dies down a little. “We will get out of here together,” Chengcheng promises. “I will take you out for a walk—a date, whatever—we’ll buy ice creams and ride everything on the amusement park, we’ll take the train to the coast and catch sunrises. We’ll be happy once this is all over, I promise.”

Minghao squeezes Chengcheng’s fingers and nods. He trusts him.

“What time will you go out for your round?” Minghao asks, yawning.

“They’ll call me in five minutes, probably.” Chengcheng says and helps Minghao covers his body with a thin cover on his cramped bed. “It’s late, go to sleep. I’ll see you again tomorrow.”

 

Minghao would not see Chengcheng again on the next day, he would never. An attack happened suddenly and a lot of soldiers fell as victim as they were not ready to counterattack. Chengcheng was one of them, but they still couldn’t locate his body even days after.

(In this universe, Minghao still loved Chengcheng wholeheartedly and Chengcheng almost, _almost_ loved him back. They were getting so close to it Minghao could hear his and Chengcheng’s hearts beat on the same rhythm. But as everyone had said, almost is never enough.)

 

 

 

 

**_Three_ **

_You can close your eyes to the things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to the things you don’t want to feel_ _  
_ _Johnny Depp_

“Fan Chengcheng! I have something important to tell you!”

“Really, Huang Justin? What a coincidence. I also have something important I’ve been dying to tell you too!”

“What about we shout it out at the same time?”

 _A soft chuckle is heard, followed by a small nod._ “Seems fun.”

 _A big, happy grin is formed in one of two faces._ “Ready? One, two, three!”

“Be my boyfriend?”

“I’m getting married next month.”

_Silent. A heavy gaze, a trembling hand reaches out to touch (it touches only the air; it doesn’t have the courage to touch anything else), raspy voice calls out a name._

“You’re getting married, Fan Chengcheng?”

“I am.” _There’s a giggle, a very happy one. One of them is very much in love and the other is very much broken_. “I’m getting married, Justin! I’ll make sure you’re coming as one of my groomsmen. You’re not going to miss my happiest day ever and you’re going to be as happy as I am.”

“Sure, I’ll be there. Congratulations!”

“Ah, thank you very much. I’m sorry but I couldn’t hear the thing you said earlier, can you say it again?”

“It’s not something important, forget it.”

 

(In this universe, Chengcheng is happy and in love and he has found someone to love for the rest of his lifetime. In this universe, Minghao is in love with Chengcheng but Chengcheng still doesn’t love him back, and so his heart is broken again.

He still can’t stop loving Chengcheng afterwards. Love is such a cruel, selfish thing indeed.)

 

 

 

 

**_Four_ **

_La douleur exquise_

“What does this mean?”

“What does what mean?”

“This, it’s in French, Justin, and I don’t know what does it mean. Please help your fella out.”

“Please refrain from using quotes you don’t know the meaning for your papers because you’re only going to bother me with them,” Minghao groans, ignoring Chengcheng’s grumble of _But I need them because they sound smart!_ and taking the book Chengcheng hands him. _La douleur exquise_ , Minghao reads the text written there. “It’s the heart-wrenching pain of wanting someone you can’t have,” Minghao answers, pushing his glasses back to the bridge of his nose using his knuckles. “That means your love is unrequited and you’re going to die because it’s so damn painful.”

Chengcheng scrunches his nose and hits Minghao with his textbook. “As expected from a Linguistic major!” he exclaims. “But your explanation is too much. How come loving someone can lead you to death?”

“You’re studying chemistry, Chengcheng, you should’ve known that better than me,” Minghao says and rolls his eyes. “You love someone and your body produces a special chemical directed to your loved one. They don’t feel the same about you, and they produce chemical that isn’t supposed to be in your bloodstream because it’s harmful. What is going to happen if something dangerous runs inside your body and it isn’t supposed to be there?”

Chengcheng raises an eyebrow. “Uh, you’re poisoned? And for the record, I’m studying chemical engineering, it’s obvious that we don’t talk about love at class.”

“Sure, note taken. And your answer is right,” Minghao flicks his fingers. “You’re poisoned and if you don’t take out the toxic fast enough, you’re going to die.”

“It doesn’t make sense,” Chengcheng complains, “love doesn’t work that way. Love makes us happy, if it doesn’t then it isn’t what you called love.”

“Love makes you happy, I agree, but an unrequited love is also a form of love. It makes you happy for a short time but it kills you slowly and you’ll still die eventually. I think that’s the best way to explain the phrase you asked just now.”

Chengcheng shivers, “I don’t know love can be so scary and life-threatening. How could you know so much about it, Justin?”

Minghao gives Chengcheng a small smile. “You won’t believe me if I told you I’ve been in love with someone in four lives, but my love is never returned so I keep asking the Heavens to give me another life.”

“You? _F_ _our_ lives?”

Minghao nods, “Yup.”

“You’re crazy.”

“I guess I am,” Minghao replies, “And if I knew this person I loved would be so ignorant and dumb, I would’ve asked to fall in love with another person instead for my next life.”

Chengcheng chuckles, “And why didn’t you ask for that?”

Minghao takes a deep breath and hits Chengcheng’s head lightly before he gets up from his sitting position. “Because I know I’d still in love with him no matter what. I just keep missing my right timing.”

_(Because that person is you, and I’d still choose you over anyone else, all over again.)_

 

 

 

 

**_One (Rewind.)_ **

_The heart was made to be broken_ _  
_ _Oscar Wilde_

“I think we’ve met long ago,” Chengcheng tells Minghao at the backstage of a music event where they’re performing as the members of nation’s pick boy group Nine Percent. They’re not merely Fan Chengcheng and Huang Minghao—they’re Nine Percent’s Chengcheng and Nine Percent’s Justin. It’s yet another universe where Minghao and Chengcheng end up finding each other, for better or worse.

Minghao is still the only one who exclusively remembers, but Chengcheng’s statement shakes him just a little.

“Of course, we’ve seen each other every so often in Yuehua’s training room, in Idol Producer dorm, and now here,” Minghao jokes dryly. “Where? Where have we met before? Do you remember?”

Chengcheng shakes his head slowly. “No, I’m not talking about these past couple years, but long ago. But I don’t know, I kinda… know, you get that? It’s a weird feeling of familiarity, but I can’t remember any other details.”

Minghao raises an eyebrow at him, “You never told me anything about this before. Why now?”

“I think about it only recently,” Chengcheng shrugs. He walks up to Minghao and help him adjusts the microphone on his collar. “When I look at you, I feel like this is so right, this is where we should belong. I have never felt such a thing about anyone else.”

Minghao stares at Chengcheng from behind his eyelashes carefully. Minghao still loves him even at this universe, he’s been pressing down his feelings since the day he first met Chengcheng as fellow trainees and he’s been following Zhengting everywhere to make the elder his shield whenever he needs to fight the urge of holding Chengcheng’s hand longer than necessary, of kissing him right then and there, or something like that.

Minghao is tired, to say honestly. He’s tired of being the only one who remembers how many times he’s being reborn to find Chengcheng, to spend a life with him without him knowing how much Minghao loves him but his feeling is never returned so Minghao has to wait for another chance. Minghao doesn’t even know when he’ll run out of chances, but in fact whenever the chance comes, Minghao is still willing to try.

(He is ready if he’s meant to get his heart broken again this time.)

“I feel guilty too, Justin.”

Minghao tilts his head. “Huh? Why?”

Chengcheng sighs, putting both hands on Minghao’s shoulders and looking straight into his eyes. “I feel like I should’ve been in love with you for so long, but even when I did I could’ve never said that out loud. I feel like I’ve been hurting you for so freaking long, and it makes me really sad. I never wanted to hurt you in any way, whether I remember it or not, and you know that too.”

Minghao blinks, heart beating erratically fast inside his chest and he feels like his heart can jump out anytime.

“Yeah, good, maybe we’re separated lovers in our past lives and we’re reincarnated so we can rewrite the history,” Minghao tries to keep his cool as long as possible. “Or we’re probably Romeo and Juliet-ish in the past and we meet again to fix it to be a happy ending. What do you think?”

“I think…” Chengcheng pauses, biting his lips. Minghao’s eyes fall on them and he’s not sure if he can look away now. “I think I can go with your theory.”

Minghao blinks once again, looking up. “What?”

“Either separated lovers or Romeo and Juliet,” Chengcheng says, voice so low it’s almost a whisper, “I think I can go with that, with _you_. I mean, I won’t have to figure that out alone, so I’m fine with it. Only if you’re fine with that too, of course.”

Minghao lets out a relief laugh and pulls Chengcheng into a hug. Chengcheng doesn’t fight it, he pats Minghao on the back awkwardly instead.

“Surprise, that’s equal to an agreement to be my boyfriend, Fan Chengcheng.”

Chengcheng pulls away enough to look at Minghao in disbelief. “Are you _serious_?”

Minghao nods in serious face, but he can’t hold back the playful smile on his lips. “I am very serious. I don’t do intimate things like that with just anyone, you know. I only do it with someone special, and by special I mean a boyfriend.”

Chengcheng rolls his eyes, pretending to be annoyed. “Intimate, you said. All I was offering you was a simple talk, but it’s okay if you’re going to think that way. Fine, I think I can go with that too.”

Minghao chuckles, “For real?”

Chengcheng nods, “For real.”

Minghao presses his forehead against Chengcheng’s, letting out a breathy laugh when Chengcheng relaxes into his touch. “I thought you were going to break my heart again.”

Chengcheng frowns. “Again? What do you mean by again?”

Minghao shakes his head, smiling. “No, it’s nothing.”

 

 

It takes Minghao four, _five_ universes until his love for Fan Chengcheng is mutual. Minghao remembers them all, and he’s going to tell everything to Chengcheng one day, slowly. He has his entire life to tell Chengcheng about things he’s been missing out.

Minghao sets his counter back to one; the one lifetime he spends with Chengcheng who loves him back while Minghao still loves him all the same, and he’s ready for another one if he’s still given the time. Minghao knows he will still gravitate towards Chengcheng in the end, no matter how hard he’s trying to avoid, no matter in what kind of world he’s being reborn to. But he’s with Fan Chengcheng, so Minghao knows everything is right on place.

**Author's Note:**

> okay!! so i decided to finish this Thing i started yesterday on a whim, instead of,,, idk, working on my wip? what is wip anyway, is that something you can eat?
> 
> (thank you for reading anyways, have a nice day/night! ♡)


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